Need to Work on Yourself a Little?
Does the way you communicate get you more or less of what you want in a relationship?
The way you communicate, more than any other factor, determines the course of your relationship.
Needy people communicate in a needy way
Angry people communicate in an angry or passive way
Anxious people communicate in an insecure, questioning way
Do you feel like your efforts to have a good relationship is like being lost in a maze?
There’s a lot of information available on the internet, in books, and audio, but for some people this information is just like adding more corridors to the maze. One might lead to your desired outcome; or it might lead to someplace even worse.
We all do the best that we can. That’s the premise behind all of my coaching. When our spouse’s are doing something that harms our relationship, it isn’t that they are trying to. After all, no one wants a bad relationship. They are simply doing the best they know how to based on their experience, their reasoning, and their ability to cope. When that’s not enough, they need help. I teach people how to help their spouses (and committed partners) to do better and to like doing better.
It’s less easy to see that we are no different. We do the best that we can because we want to have really good relationships. When what we are doing isn’t working, our tendency is to blame the other person. That is no different than our spouses, our family, or our friends. If our trouble really is only with just one person, then perhaps we are right–that person is to blame. But when we consistently have bad results, we need to be big enough to know that we need to change. Either that, or keep getting bad results.
I’ve created this package due to popular demand from people who are relationally stuck because they:
- are unable to express their needs to others without creating conflict
- repeatedly try ineffective or needy approaches
- lack tools for making decisions and backup plans
- use an approach which is high conflict and competitive
- try to accomplish too much at a time or too quickly
- have the wrong expecations about the way other people will react
The kind of results they get are:
- their spouses, dates, or significant others misunderstand and get defensive or angry
- feelings of frustration and hopelessness
- withdrawal, escape, emotionally shutting down
- low self-efficacy and self-esteem
- giving up, blaming others, the world, or society, even though other people obviously have what they desire
But, with relationship coaching they can:
- identify previously unseen obstacles that have been holding them back
- practice communication skills that really work
- use systematic structured methods to achieve real results
- get positive feedback and encouragement on their progress
- get consistent support and direction to get what they want
- know when to stay on track and when to make changes