Comments for Relationship Coach Blog http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck Relationship Coaching and Counseling Advice from Relationship Coach Jack Ito PhD Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:25:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 Comment on Does he or she really love me? by JackIto http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/does-he-or-she-really-love-me/#comment-184 JackIto Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:06:41 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=365#comment-184 Thank you Dsheray. Thank you Dsheray.

]]> Comment on Does he or she really love me? by Dsheray http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/does-he-or-she-really-love-me/#comment-183 Dsheray Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:50:01 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=365#comment-183 I really like this site you have great content. Keep up the good work. I really like this site you have great content. Keep up the good work.

]]> Comment on Does he or she really love me? by Online Dating USA - Ozami Dating http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/does-he-or-she-really-love-me/#comment-182 Online Dating USA - Ozami Dating Wed, 11 Nov 2009 10:51:53 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=365#comment-182 These are very good methods. I've recently broke up with someone I've been together for 3 years. I always thought we were soul-mates, and that she will be the one I will marry, and she just let me go, without looking back one second. When it comes to feelings and women, you can never be too sure. These are very good methods. I’ve recently broke up with someone I’ve been together for 3 years. I always thought we were soul-mates, and that she will be the one I will marry, and she just let me go, without looking back one second. When it comes to feelings and women, you can never be too sure.

]]> Comment on How to overcome procrastination in working on your relationship by Pixie Stevenson http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/how-to-overcome-relationship-work-procrastinatio/#comment-179 Pixie Stevenson Thu, 22 Oct 2009 11:54:10 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=362#comment-179 This is a great post - marking a date on a calendar as the deadline for finding a solution and don't order pizza in a French restaurant. In addition to coaching, I often suggest that couples find another couple with a good relationship to be a model. This is a great post - marking a date on a calendar as the deadline for finding a solution and don’t order pizza in a French restaurant.

In addition to coaching, I often suggest that couples find another couple with a good relationship to be a model.

]]> Comment on How to trust again by JackIto http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/how-to-trust-again/#comment-177 JackIto Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:11:15 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=55#comment-177 Hi Jill. I'm sorry about your situation. You are obviously being betrayed by your boyfriend and that is always a kick in the gut. Your relationship, however, is far from over (unless you are the one ending it). Your boyfriend obviously desires a relationship with you, although he also obviously desires a relationship with at least one other woman. You will need to decide if that is acceptable to you or not. That is, assuming your boyfriend will not change, what would you do? Don't say, "Confront him and try to get him to change," since that is still assuming that he will change. Assume that he will not and make a plan accordingly. When you have done that (and not until then), will you be in any position to change your situation and/or save the relationship. As long as you have no plan and no real power, all you will get is a more and more secretive boyfriend if you confront him further. This situation can be managed without destructive conflict, if handled well. (If you want to talk further, we will need to have a coaching session). Hi Jill. I’m sorry about your situation. You are obviously being betrayed by your boyfriend and that is always a kick in the gut. Your relationship, however, is far from over (unless you are the one ending it). Your boyfriend obviously desires a relationship with you, although he also obviously desires a relationship with at least one other woman. You will need to decide if that is acceptable to you or not. That is, assuming your boyfriend will not change, what would you do? Don’t say, “Confront him and try to get him to change,” since that is still assuming that he will change. Assume that he will not and make a plan accordingly. When you have done that (and not until then), will you be in any position to change your situation and/or save the relationship. As long as you have no plan and no real power, all you will get is a more and more secretive boyfriend if you confront him further. This situation can be managed without destructive conflict, if handled well. (If you want to talk further, we will need to have a coaching session).

]]> Comment on How to trust again by Jill http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/how-to-trust-again/#comment-176 Jill Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:49:03 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=55#comment-176 Relationship advice? I apologize for lengthy post.. My boyfriend and I of 5 years, moved in together a few months ago with my two boys. We are renting. He owns a townhome 5 minutes from our new house. Doesnt want to sell townhome due to the economy. So its furnished and empty, he still has fish tanks there and goes everyother day to take care of it. He had a neighbor over there, which he mentioned once or twice over the past three years. I noticed he spends an awful lot of time at the townhouse and found him texting someone, he wouldnt say who , hiding his phone, deleting messages. So I confront him, he tells me its the neighbor and he only texts her once every few weeks to check up on the neighborhood. He also said he has had a beer with her once or twice over the last three years. he says she is not even a friend , just an aquaintance. I say thats fine, just dont hide that stuff, talk to me about it. Well, after a few evenings of coming home hours late no explaination and him saying he is going to the store, instead I find him at the townhouse sitting on the couch, back door propped open and very nervous. I know somethings up. I looked at the phone bill to find 91 texts to her in two weeks. It goes back much further. All texts are when I am not around and just before he goes to the townhouse or after I am sleeping. So I randomly placed my sons recorder over at the townhouse. (sounds crazy, but I couldnt stand the lying and had to know). Anyway, she comes over to the townhouse a few times a week (when he says he is elsewhere). She comes in his house when he isnt there to raid the fridge. The conversations seemed innocent except for the fact that she told him she is nervous to come over because she is afraid I will pop up and he discussed changing his access code so I couldnt get in. I confronted him about the phone bill (not the recorder) and he still denied, kept changing the story, never admit to any of it and most of all, wont say why he is sneaking. I was at the townhouse alone unpacking and she came up an introduced her self. I mentioned that he hadnt told me about her and she said she never talks to him , never sees him and she is out of town every weekend (which I found out was also a lie). We had a big blow out, I asked him to stop the relationship since he swears there isnt one. He agreed and decided to tell me everytime he hears from her. I told him I needed to regain his trust, I am hurt , it may take a while. Then he changed the password to get into our phone account. I had to tell him I cannot regain his trust that way and he changed it back. There have been no texts , however I left that recorder over there at the townhouse one last time and sure enough she was there. He told her that they can still be friends but they cant text for a while and he will explain everything when he has more time. He ended the conversation with "hey I have to run but dont worry sweet, we are still going to be friends. I really want to work this out but he wont even admit to any wrong doing. I have asked him to put the shoe on the other foot, what if it was me behaving like that and lying? and he said that he he didnt lie and would be a little upset but thats it and I am over reacting and ruining our relationship. What can I do to save this relationship? Am I over reacting? Relationship advice? I apologize for lengthy post.. My boyfriend and I of 5 years, moved in together a few months ago with my two boys. We are renting. He owns a townhome 5 minutes from our new house. Doesnt want to sell townhome due to the economy. So its furnished and empty, he still has fish tanks there and goes everyother day to take care of it. He had a neighbor over there, which he mentioned once or twice over the past three years. I noticed he spends an awful lot of time at the townhouse and found him texting someone, he wouldnt say who , hiding his phone, deleting messages. So I confront him, he tells me its the neighbor and he only texts her once every few weeks to check up on the neighborhood. He also said he has had a beer with her once or twice over the last three years. he says she is not even a friend , just an aquaintance. I say thats fine, just dont hide that stuff, talk to me about it. Well, after a few evenings of coming home hours late no explaination and him saying he is going to the store, instead I find him at the townhouse sitting on the couch, back door propped open and very nervous. I know somethings up. I looked at the phone bill to find 91 texts to her in two weeks. It goes back much further. All texts are when I am not around and just before he goes to the townhouse or after I am sleeping. So I randomly placed my sons recorder over at the townhouse. (sounds crazy, but I couldnt stand the lying and had to know). Anyway, she comes over to the townhouse a few times a week (when he says he is elsewhere). She comes in his house when he isnt there to raid the fridge. The conversations seemed innocent except for the fact that she told him she is nervous to come over because she is afraid I will pop up and he discussed changing his access code so I couldnt get in. I confronted him about the phone bill (not the recorder) and he still denied, kept changing the story, never admit to any of it and most of all, wont say why he is sneaking. I was at the townhouse alone unpacking and she came up an introduced her self. I mentioned that he hadnt told me about her and she said she never talks to him , never sees him and she is out of town every weekend (which I found out was also a lie). We had a big blow out, I asked him to stop the relationship since he swears there isnt one. He agreed and decided to tell me everytime he hears from her. I told him I needed to regain his trust, I am hurt , it may take a while.
Then he changed the password to get into our phone account. I had to tell him I cannot regain his trust that way and he changed it back. There have been no texts , however I left that recorder over there at the townhouse one last time and sure enough she was there. He told her that they can still be friends but they cant text for a while and he will explain everything when he has more time. He ended the conversation with “hey I have to run but dont worry sweet, we are still going to be friends.
I really want to work this out but he wont even admit to any wrong doing. I have asked him to put the shoe on the other foot, what if it was me behaving like that and lying? and he said that he he didnt lie and would be a little upset but thats it and I am over reacting and ruining our relationship. What can I do to save this relationship? Am I over reacting?

]]> Comment on Relationship improvement in 15 minutes a day by Joanne http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/relationship-improvement-in-15-minutes-a-day/#comment-175 Joanne Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:05:28 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=360#comment-175 A good book on the market currently for learning how to become a reflective listener is Dick Fetzer's PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! It has helped me tremendously and you might want to recommend it to your clients. It's a very practical "how to" tool for becoming a reflective listener. A good book on the market currently for learning how to become a reflective listener is Dick Fetzer’s PLEASE LISTEN TO ME! It has helped me tremendously and you might want to recommend it to your clients. It’s a very practical “how to” tool for becoming a reflective listener.

]]> Comment on Don’t rush your partner to reconcile by JackIto http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/dont-rush-your-partner-to-reconcile/#comment-169 JackIto Wed, 02 Sep 2009 15:07:26 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=208#comment-169 Jeff, I'm always available by email. You can also call me. Click on the "About Coach Jack Ito" button at the top of the site. Jeff, I’m always available by email. You can also call me. Click on the “About Coach Jack Ito” button at the top of the site.

]]> Comment on Don’t rush your partner to reconcile by JEFF SIGAR http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/dont-rush-your-partner-to-reconcile/#comment-168 JEFF SIGAR Mon, 31 Aug 2009 07:38:32 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=208#comment-168 I badly need your advice after a sad breakup with my fiancee whom am trying to get back to my life. I badly need your advice after a sad breakup with my fiancee whom am trying to get back to my life.

]]> Comment on Achieving Oneness in Marriage by energytalkradio http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/achieving-oneness-in-marriage/#comment-165 energytalkradio Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:37:11 +0000 http://relationship-coach.org/unstuck/?p=357#comment-165 You're absolutely right! I thought my husband and I have common goals like having kids later on but I didn't know he's dying to have kids of his own but there are things I still want to do. You’re absolutely right! I thought my husband and I have common goals like having kids later on but I didn’t know he’s dying to have kids of his own but there are things I still want to do.

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