Relationship Coach Blog

Frustration is a feeling. Like all feelings, it is connected with a particular cause and suggests particular action.

We feel frustrated when we are trying to do or get something and we are unable to. This is different from simply wanting something.  Wanting something without taking action creates feelings of desire or envy, not frustration.  Some people avoid frustration simply by avoiding trying to get or do things.  That will help you to not be frustrated, but it will not help you to get what you want.  We must always risk temporary frustration in order to get what we desire.

If you are frustrated, it means that the method that you are using to get what you want is not working. It doesn’t matter if you are trying to find a job, improve your grades, lose weight, or improve your relationship.  Frustration always indicates that your method is not working.

Once frustrated, there are various ways to deal with the situation, most of them useless or harmful.  One of the most popular, yet useless, ways to cope with frustration is by trying harder.  Well, if you try harder to use an ineffective method, it does not become effective.  It will just increase your frustration.  Other popular, useless, coping methods are to blame someone or something for your lack of success or to procrastinate.  Neither of these methods, of course, will help you to get what you want.

After trying really hard for a long time and having a lot of frustration, people give up. They then become ready to end their relationship or whatever it was that they were seeking to improve or get.  Giving up is also not helpful for getting what you want, although it will end the frustration.  Give up on your relationship and you can experience “grieving” rather than “frustration”.

The only way to cope with frustration successfully and get what you want is to stop using ineffective methods and instead use effective methods.  It may be cheaper to rub two sticks together to make a campfire, but it is a lot less frustrating to invest in a lighter and some fire starter fuel.

To effectively improve your relationship, you need to learn and practice relationship building skills.  To get effective relationship building skills, you need to hire someone who can help you with your particular situation. Get the skills you need with relationship coaching.  Frustration is not a necessary part of life.