Relationship Coach Blog

Although it was very hard, you have done well in finding truth in what your partner has said, giving honest appreciation, and giving positive messages of love and desire for the relationship.  If your relationship is still on solid ground, likely your partner has responded positively or is quickly warming up to being with you again.

But, if your relationship has had many battles and you and your partner have become very distant, then mending your relationship will take time as well as the persistent use of positive skills.  You will need to continue to avoid arguing not by avoiding your partner and not by shutting down, but by refusing to either attack or defend.  You have the power to end the arguing in your relationship.

If your partner is not ready to reconcile today and says he or she never will, don’t accept that message as written in stone.  There are many things that both you and your partner said to each other that you meant at the time, but which later changed.  The lack of desire to reconcile can change as well.

It is very hard to get rid of something that we perceive to be very valuable, but not so hard to get rid something that just causes us grief.  Resolve to deal with your partner in a positive way that builds respect.  This has nothing to do with being passive or weak.  Using relationship skills is active and gives you more power in the relationship than you have had before.  You will need to use that power to build rather than to destroy.

Doing that will mean seeing your partner in a different way.  Your spouse or significant other is just a fallible human being with fears and desires.  His or her way of doing things may be the very best way that he or she knows how to cope and to deal with a situation that at times may seem desperate or hopeless.

Seeing your partner in this way will allow you to see your partner more realistically than before, to have compassion rather than anger, and will allow love to continue to live in your heart even if sometimes all you get is the angry face from your partner.  Loving someone never has been easy, but it continues to be worth it.

If you don’t yet have a relationship coach to help you with your relationship, make the investment today.  Saving your relationship takes skills that you may not have and you are going to need support to hang in there.  For an introductory coaching package, follow this link.