Relationship Coach Blog

You cannot stop someone from divorcing you. But there are things that you can do to increase the chances of saving your marriage. Which of these approaches do you think would be most helpful: 1) Being angry and demanding, 2) Being desperate and pleading, 3) Being manipulative and sneaky, or 4) Being distant and cold? The fact is, all of these approaches will just help to further cement the divorce.

Preventing a divorce requires dealing with the issues that are driving you apart AND working on being closer. Simply working on issues will not bring you closer. There is value in that, though, for having a more peaceful divorce with fewer hard feelings. Many marriages that are saved start out with just this goal. If tensions are too high, it is hard to work on being closer.

If your spouse is willing to work on reducing the tension, then go to counseling together with just that goal. Work on understanding each other and having peace. If your spouse will not go to counseling with you, then just you working with a relationship coach can also help to reduce the tension, anger, and frustration in your relationship. What you do will make a big difference for what your spouse does, even if he or she says that nothing you do could make a difference. Don’t get caught up in your spouse’s words.

If you have a genuine desire to stay with your spouse, then there is a good chance that your spouse does too, but he or she may be too hurt or angry to even consider that. Don’t give up, but don’t use those four methods at this top of this post which will just doom your relationship. Get expert help. Now is not the time to do-it-yourself.