Make your New Year’s resolutions more effective
Most New Year’s resolutions are given up within two weeks of being made. There are some things you can do, however, to make those resolutions stick.
1. Tell some other people what they are. Secret resolutions are easier to give up because there’s no accountability. Be careful who you tell, however. Do not tell people who are likely to ridicule you or make it more difficult for you to change. If you have no supportive people in your life, it is time to get your own coach. Your coach will always be on your side.
2. Break down your resolutions into small, easily achievable steps rather than one big goal. The small steps will enable you to see your progress and that will encourage you to continue. Big goals may seem admirable, but they will set you up for failure. Like trying to drive across the country in one day, you will have a lot of enthusiasm at the start but tire out before you get halfway.
3. Join with others who have similar resolutions and encourage each other. Working alone on goals makes them far more difficult to achieve. This is one of the reasons people with their own relationship coach have success where others don’t.
4. Get professional help. If you want to give up an addiction like smoking or overeating, addictions counselors and/or medical consultation may be the extra push that you need. If you are working on relationship goals, working with a relationship coach can help you to experience repeatable success.
5. Remember that change is not a matter of willpower. There are specific skills needed to make changes. Difficulty making changes just denotes a lack of these skills. Your relationship coach can help you to learn the processes of change.
6. Keep in mind the three processes necessary for change: 1) giving up unhelpful behaviors, 2) learning helpful behaviors, and 3) doing the helpful behaviors repeatedly until you have success. Just trying to give up unhelpful behaviors or just trying to learn new behaviors will not result in success.
If this is the year you want to work on your marriage, go here to find out more about it.
Posted: December 31st, 2008 under Life Coach, Relationship, Relationship Coaching, Relationship Skills.
Tags: changing, resolutions