Relationship Coach Blog

Sheila is a friend of yours and her marriage is going from bad to worse. She wants to save her marriage, but her husband has no interest in working on the marriage-only in blaming her.  What’s your advice for Sheila?

1. Give up on the marriage
2. Keep trying to work things out by herself
3. Go to counseling
4. Get a relationship coach

Let’s consider these choices:

Give up on the marriage-This is an easy answer, but not an easy solution.  It is not in line with what Sheila wants.  There is no guarantee that her life will be better if she gets a divorce.

Keep trying to work things out by herself-Sheila’s attempts to do so have not worked up till now, so there’s no reason to expect that her continuing to try by herself is going to make anything better.  What she is trying may even be part of the reason that things are getting worse.

Go to counseling-Since counselors are problem focused, most of them will recommend divorce unless the husband is willing to participate in counseling.  This may force the husband into counseling, but also may force a divorce.

Get relationship coaching-Since coaches are skilled at working with individuals to make relationships better, the husband won’t have any pressure to participate.  Stress levels will stay low as Sheila learns to effectively manage her husband’s behaviors and reactions to her.

The first two options are the most expensive and least effective, since they result in losing the relationship.  The second two will cost some money, but have a better chance for saving the relationship.

The last option will result in skills that can be applied for a lifetime. Sheila will have less need for professional help in the future.

Make the wise choice for your relationship.  Get relationship coaching before it is too late.