Relationship Coach Blog

There are certain human characteristics that are useless for relationships.  Among them are trying to control others, jealousy, and complaining.  There are more, but this will suffice for now.

Complaining is an action that creates emotional distance between you and whoever you are complaining about.  You don’t even need to complain in front of their face.  Complaining about someone (such as your partner) to a friend or even to yourself will decrease the strength of your emotional attachment to your partner.

If I were to give you an electric shock every time you heard the name of your partner mentioned, you would come to associate the name of your partner with the shock.  When you complain about your partner, you are likewise conditioning yourself to feel worse about your partner.

When you complain directly to your partner, it is like giving the both of you shocks.  You condition yourself and your partner to want to get the heck away from each other.  You can nag someone into action sometimes, but you will never be able to nag them into loving you more.

Take a long, hard look at what you are both gaining and losing by complaining. Many have killed their relationships bit by bit by complaining.  Make sure that you don’t become one of these statistics.

If your partner is doing terrible things, complaining is not an effective way to deal with it. You will need to learn what is.  A relationship coach can help you to build a better relationship with your partner.  Don’t want a coach?  Better make sure your way is better.