Trust is not a feeling
What does it mean to “trust” someone? “Trust” is not a feeling. It is an action. If we “feel” trust, but do nothing to show it, then we haven’t trusted at all. If I say that I trust you to remain loyal to me but then question your loyalty, I am not showing trust. On the other hand, if I give you something very valuable to me (like my love and hand in marriage) and feel scared, I have demonstrated trust. Trusting always involves risk. Otherwise, it is not trust.
Trusting someone does not mean that we won’t feel scared or worried. Learning to trust someone always involves some kind of doubt, concern, or fear. It is only when the trust has been earned that we will be confident and secure.
Too many people use their feelings as a guide to when to trust or not trust. This results in two kinds of errors. For one group of people who find it hard to trust, it results in overcautious and over controlling behavior. For the other group, who trust too easily, it leads to resentment and broken relationships.
Posted: March 4th, 2009 under Improving Relationships, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Coaching, Relationship Counseling.
Tags: feelings, free teleseminar, trust