Relationship Coach Blog

Finish this statement:  “If I don’t work on my relationship now, then …”.  Before you read any further, actually go back and finish that statement.

There are three general responses you can have to that question.

The first would be, “If I don’t work on my relationship now, then things are going to get better and better.”  It seems kind of hard to imagine, doesn’t it?  A relationship getting better without working on it is like learning to play the piano without practicing.  If you can do that, please teach me.  I would love to learn how you do it.

The second kind of response would be, “If I don’t work on my relationship now, then nothing will change.”  This is a little easier to believe.  If your relationship has been stable for a long time, then it probably will continue to be stable for quite some while.  On thing that is constant in life, however, is change.  Sooner or later, something will give, a crisis will happen.  If your relationship is strong, it will weather the storm.  If not, it may sink like the Titanic.

The third kind of response would be, “If I don’t work on my relationship now, it will get worse and worse.”  If you are in this category, then you have a choice of working on your relationship or letting it go down the tubes.  If you want it to die, then admit it to yourself and don’t fight it.  Just tell yourself, “I want my relationship to die, so I’m not going to work on it.”  Making that decision will free you up from the struggle.  However, if you want your relationship to survive, then you had better get some help, because what you are doing now and have been doing is not working.

Questions and choices go hand in hand.  When we don’t ask ourselves the questions, then we limit our choices and our lives slip a little more away from us.  When we make choices, we are able to get it back.